Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
