so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
