He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
