smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
