Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
