Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
