Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.