everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
