You can't special order awesome
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.