Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera