Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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