I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
