An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
