Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
