the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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