All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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