Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
