He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
