Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
