I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
