it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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