did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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