there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
