Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize