Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
