Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drake has all the answers
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
