I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Every concussion has its silver lining
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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