remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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