he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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