Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
