I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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