so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
