I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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