I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
