The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
