my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize
