Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize