i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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