I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
