Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize