Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
