I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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