Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
