I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it was like eating out sand paper
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
