Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
