The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
