how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
