wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
