Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
