I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
