It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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