How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
