I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize