I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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