i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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