y did u give ur computer a hand job?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
