i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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