drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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