her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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