THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
