you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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