Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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