New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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